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Archive for July, 2011


July 11th, 2011 by Ted Silberstein

Lying Casey

By Ted Silberstein
(With apologies to ‘Casey at the Bat’ by Ernest Lawrence Thayer)

It was no slam dunk for the State’s prosecution team when it started back in ‘08
Casey had a bigger lie to tell with each new passing day.
When precious Caylee was lost, and the way she would heartbreakingly be found,
A sickly silence fell on O-Town, then the outrage would abound.

Searchers many filled the woods, psychics, bounty hunters were there,
They searched for precious Caylee through their deepening despair.
While Casey laughed and joked, and partied without a care,
This Hollywood whodunit was building, pathos filled the air.

Then Caylee’s tiny body was found and the game began to change,
Casey got cuffed and stuffed and thrown into her county cage.
But Casey scoffed, flipped us off, and turned up her snotty nose,
She stuck to her many stories, as the peoples’ anger rose.

Jose Baez and Cheney Mason rushed to Casey’s side,
There was also that freaky lady lawyer who marries cons sentenced to die.
Casey selected her Bad News Bears team to try to save her life,
No character assassination was out of bounds for them, not George or Cindy his wife.
For Young Jose and Old Cheney, anything was of use,
Even dragging Casey’s dad’s name through Mudville,
accusing him of sexual abuse.

There was ease in Casey’s manner as she strode into the court,
She looked at the judge, the jury, and cops et al, to whom Caylee’s disappearance she didn’t report.
Like an insolent cocky batter, Casey stepped up to the plate,
But unlike the five thousand throats in Thayer’s tale, this crowd was full of hate.
Defiance gleamed in Casey’s eye, a sneer curled Casey’s lip,
But Jose put her hair in a schoolmarm bun, and wouldn’t let her wiggle her hips.

Prosecutors Ashton, Drane Burdick and George, stood tall for Caylee and the State,
The biggest court room battle since OJ, to settle Casey’s fate.
A battle royal from arrest to trial, bitter and stormy and fierce,
Hard to believe the entire saga would go on for over three years.

The players were many, Zanny the Nanny, George and Cindy and Lee,
From Kronk to River, and Melich to Belich, and don’t forget Dr. G.
They sparred about duck tape, some experts were real flakes,
And talk of colonizing flies,
There was junk in the trunk, silver cans filled with funk,
And Contempt of Court for a punk.

Ashton was sharp, smacking sizzling line drives of clear logic all over the field,
Jose would object but Judge Perry was ready, with “Overruled” at Jose’s every squeal.
Drane took aim, and brought Jose nothing but pain,
But when Casey’s team looked like they might buckle,
The game took a turn when Ashton got burned, and got caught in the midst of a chuckle.

But our Prosecutors were so strong it seemed that nothing could go wrong,
We were sure Caylee Marie would have her day.
She would be able to rest, the State did its best and Casey finally would pay.

But the sneer is gone from Casey’s lips, her cocky swagger’s back,
As she counts the coming fortune soon to be rolling down her track.

None of us could believe our ears, we all were seeing red,
Ashton and Drane Burdick, our jaws dropped at the verdict
“NOT GUILTY” is what they had said.
Ashton and Drane Burdick bar none are THE BEST, and fought the bravest of fights,
But the jury had left the dugout feeling the case just wasn’t air tight.

Oh, somewhere in this Disney land, justice may shine bright,
But Casey’s going clubbing soon, something isn’t right.
Somewhere Caylee’s crying, lying Casey gives a wink and a shout,
But there is no joy in O-Town –
Lady Justice has struck out.

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